5 Myths About Sex

1. A woman cannot get pregnant when she's menstruating.
- Everyone's menstrual cycle is different and not completely stable. It is true that ovulation tends to occur before one's period; however, ovulation can periodically occur during or shortly after menstruation. Moreover, sperm can live in the vagina between 5 and 7 days.

The final verdict: pregnancy is extremely unlikely but always a possibility.

2. Withdrawal (pulling-out) is a safe method of contraception.
- This method is only about 19% effective, in comparison to using condoms which is about 99% effective. According to www.sexualityu.ca, pre-ejaculatory fluids from the penis can contain thousands of sperm. A friend of mine swears by this method because he hasn't gotten his long-term partner pregnant yet. But there could be other reasons why pregnancy has never occurred (ie: fertility, endometriosis, no sex during/near ovulation etc.)

The final verdict: Why take the risk when you could be covered up to 99% sans hormonal birth control? But if this has worked for you without any problems, power to you lol. Please not that this method also does not protect individuals against STIs & HIV.

3. Only people who sleep around get STIs or HIV.
- First of all, the assumption is that monogamous relationships are safe relationships. This is not true. There are people who are married for years and then suddenly contract HIV. I'm not saying that you shouldn't trust your partner, but that you shouldn't be under the impression that you are ever 100% safe.

- Secondly, I can't excuse the underlying value judgment inherent in this statement. I'm referring to the idea that "sleeping around" is somehow dangerous or bad (and skanky or slutty for women). Sometimes sex is just...well, sex. If you're uncomfortable having more than one sexual partner at a time then that's right for you, but that's not right for everyone.

The final verdict: if you have a sexual partner(s) you are always at risk of contracting something.

4. Hormonal birth control ensures the safety of your sex.
- Although these are very effect methods of contraception (anti-pregnancy), hormonal birth controls do not protect individuals from STIs & HIV.

The final verdict: protect yourself!!!

5. Oral sex isn't "Real" sex so I won't get an infection or disease.
- Firstly, there is yet another value judgment inherent in this statement. That "Real" sex is only that which occurs during heterosexual penis in vagina penetration. This devalues any sexual relationships which are not heterosexual, and any sex that falls outside this definition.

- Secondly, there are different risks for different sex methods and individuals. Here's an STD chart that we posted last month which outlines what to expect when engaging in sex. The risks involved in giving or receiving oral sex for women include herpes and possibly genital warts. This risks involved for giving or receiving for men include chlamydia, gonorrhea, hep a, herpes, genital warts, shigella, syphilis, hep b, hiv, and possibily hep c.

The final verdict: Sex is not limited to heterosexual intercourse. Masturbation, oral stimulation, anal sex, hand stimulation etc. etc. etc. are all sex! All sex (even masturbation if you have warts on your hands) can cause infection.

- Alice

How to put on a condom

Here's a really straight forward tutorial on how a condom should be used on a penis/toy etc.

Remember, it can also be placed over fingers to prevent STI's through skin contact (ie: warts on hands can mean warts on genitals). A condom can also be cut length ways and placed over a vulva or anus for oral stimulation! :)

- Alice

Contraceptives for men!

Here's a great site on methods of contraception for men.

The mission statement on the homepage says it all: "We believe that men can, and should, have access to contraceptive options beyond condoms and vasectomies."

I think that this site presents this issue very well. It discusses and disproves common beliefs about men, that they're irresponsible and/or uninterested in contraception/family planning. This myth has been used as an excuse for pharmaceutical companies in North America to not invest in research for effective male contraceptives. Heterosexuality definitely plays a role in how men are supposed to feel about sex... But I'm betting that there are a lot of men who would be interested in effective contraceptive methods that they can use. I'm not sure how effective these methods are, but it's great to know that there are options out there!

- Vivian

NOTE: The methods described on this website are not readily available. In fact, the only way to get your hands on them is by participating in clinical trials (for the time being). What's important, however, is the fact that several of the methods mentioned are in the stages of testing and will likely be available to the public once proven safe and effective.

The Pill

Here's an informative site about the different types of hormonal contraceptive pills.

- Vivian

Happy Period Control!

This is a funny clip about how the birth control pill is never marketed for sex/contraception, but as period control. Check it out lol.

Happy Period Control!!!

- Alice

Uncaria tomentosa

I recently quit my job at a homeopathic clinic and wellness center. One of their most popular prescribed remedies is called cat's claw (or uncaria tormentosa). It is a remedy derived from a vine that grows in South America and it is believed to have really useful properties. I read up a bit about it is most commonly used in homeopathy to treat cancer, AIDS, viral infections, colitis, etc. as well as to boost the immune system. Apparently, though, the only condition it has actually (scientifically) proven to alleviate is arthritis.

Anyway, apparently cat's claw has traditionally been used as a contraceptive in South America, and if taken in relatively large doses, may induce miscarriage. I have a bottle of the stuff and I am a bit skeptical about trying it (as a contraceptive and otherwise) because of the lack of concrete information, studies and research about it that I have been able to find (mind you, I haven't done extensive research on it) but I thought it'd be interesting to mention anyway! I will update if I find new information about this.

- Vivian

Re: Parsley & Late Periods

I actually tried the parsley method a few months back. I read extensively and figured "why not?". At the point that I attempted it, I had started getting mild cramps and breast swelling (a sign of my period approaching) so I figured it might speed up the process. I didn't have cheesecloth so I simply picked a palm-full of fresh parsley from my herb garden, gave it a good wash and carefully bunched it into my vagina. I left it there for quite some time (several hours), and I repeated the process about 3 or 4 times, making sure to carefully remove every bit of parsley when I finished.

It didn't work at all. In fact my period came two weeks after this (I'm rarely late!)...maybe if I had tried this method past the time when my period was due it would have worked? I'm not sure if I'd try it again, but perhaps! One of my mother's friends swears by it, so maybe it was just a bad time for my body.

- Vivian

Parsley & Late Periods

Apparently parsley can stimulate menstruation if your period's late. Check out this site to find out how. There are also links at the top of the page for herbal fertility, contraception and abortion. We're not sure how effective these methods are but it's definitely worth reading.

- Alice