Why, God? Why?

Oh my god.  I really didn't want to ever have a ranting post but I have to... okay..

what the hell.. is up with TWILIGHT?!  I don't even know where to begin!  In normal circumstances, I read a book I don't like and move on.  But this shit keeps slapping me in the face everywhere I look!  Only cool people have Twilight STATIONARY?!  Obviously my curiosity got the better of me and I actually read Twilight.  All. Four. Books.

To briefly explain, Twilight is censored vampire erotica for pre-teens as told by a Mormon.  Not kidding.  She writes about as good as a preteen too.  And let me tell you, I have never read anything more blatantly sexist.. it even trumps books that are supposed to take place when women weren't allowed to vote.  It's about two lovebirds: Edward the 100 year old vampire virgin and Bella the 17 year old bane of my existence.  They have no interests, no hobbies, no friends.. they just love each other because he likes the smell of her blood and she is the most insecure woman to ever exist.  She validates her life by his presence.  She has no goals for herself other than to become a vampire so they can love each other for their entire immortal existence (!!!!!)

What pisses me off the most is that this is what most girls reading it (ages 13-18) think love is.  They traded in mutual respect, commitment, friendship and attraction for the less used model of OBSESSIVE CRAZY. 

The only thing Edward says (paraphrased, though sadly not by much) : "I love you.. I love you.. I'm so angry at myself for putting you in danger.. I must flee forever into the abyss to hide my shame.  You're better off without my chiseled features and controlling existence.  Allow me to protect you from afar, feeble minded female mortal."

The only thing Bella says:  "I love you so much it hurts my weak mind.  I feel dizzy and my woman legs can't carry me.  Lift me, oh strong protector of the night."
AND A DIRECT QUOTE: "Maybe my brain will never work right, at least I'm pretty now" -Bella, on becoming a vampire. I just don't understand this bizarro feminism with mormon undertones. She lets this vampire walk all over her and control her life, but then when he knocks her up and the baby will 99% KILL HER.. he respects her choice to have a risky pregnancy? WHAT?!

And the movie was just close-ups of their faces for two hours in various intense expressions.

EFF MINUS! (F-)

Furiously yours,
Stef

Fashionism/Feminism

Isn't it disturbing that the term 'feminism' has been co-opted to reflect this consumerist notion of freedom and women's rights? I mean, the idea that gender equity has been established because (some) women can now buy themselves a plethora of rings, shoes, and purses is just so bizarre. I really find this completely depoliticized version of "Carrie Bradshaw" feminism really problematic. So when I came across this "fashionism" site the other day, I couldn't resist. I had to comment.

I mean 'isms' (like feminism, communism etc.) are supposed to reflect some kind of politicizing of life experiences. I would not place fashion in this same realm. I'm not trying to say that fashion is totally evil and that any woman who is fashionable (what ever that may mean) cannot be a feminist. But, it is undeniable that some warped version of feminism is parading around in a "less threatening", sanitized way. I believe that this connection between consumerism and empowerment has knocked feminist progress in North America back 20 paces from where it should be today. Yes, there are activists and feminists out there today who are trying to do something constructive, and who are keeping the "spirit" of feminism alive, but the consensus today seems to be that feminism is a thing of the past. Women are supposedly equal to men. This is hardly the case!

To all of you out there who are blogging, reading, writing, talking etc. in the name of feminism, keep it up! We need to re-politicize the various struggles that women all over the world are facing today. We continue to struggle, and our voices must be heard! Feminism is not dead, and it is a valuable tool today!

Look Great While You Give Birth with Pretty Pushers

Pretty Pushers is a company based in the US that is selling a birthing kit that includes lip gloss, a mirror, a dress, a lemon-water towelette, and heated massage oil. Can we find anymore ways to place even more pressure on women to "look their best" in every aspect of their lives? I mean, socially it's expected that women hide their bodily "troubles" like menstruation, passing gas, pooping, sexuality and now during childbirth (when it's arguably one of the most painful moments of one's life) one must repress any expression of discomfort in an effort to be presentable. As if child birth wasn't hard enough!

- Alice

Menstruation Tabling

Our tabling event on Monday was a success! It was great to engage with the student community, and it was very interesting to see some of the students' reactions. Some students just couldn't believe that we were talking about menstruation in public. Some giggled as they took the pad/tampon packages that we were handing out, others were completely shocked and mortified. We have been talking about the stigma associated with menstruation for a long time, but it wasn't until I was confronted with these reactions that I really understood how important it was to make menstruation visible. To be frank, menstruation has been constructed as a problem that needs to be avoided at all costs. Corporations capitalize on ideologies of uncleanliness to sell a myriad of products that will help women "cope" with their "feminine troubles". And so the process of menstruation itself fades into the background. For instance the pad/tampon commercials that I've seen on tv are so ambiguous. I don't know whether they're trying to sell me a box of flowers or a box of tampons.

Although we were met with some resistance, there were many students who were very interested in what we had to offer. They were surprised to see alternative options/products, and also to find out that the products that they have been using for so many years were toxic. One individual asked, "Aren't these products FDA approved? If they weren't safe, then why would they be on the market?". The truth is that mainstream pads and tampons don't usually cause immediate harm (although some individuals may experience irration on the skin surface), but they do contain chemicals/dioxins that are carcinogenic. This means that they can cause cancer. So the question is: do you really feel safe inserting a toxic tampon into your body, or having a bleached maxipad rubbing against your skin?

We'd like to thank natracare for donating the samples of safe/chemical-free pads and tampons to us, and Divacup for donating the demo poducts. The York student community really appreciates it!

- Alice

I need a bitch

Here's some mid-day sexism to chew on. Enjoy!

Click here to listen to Cherry Pie by ICP (Insane Clown Posse) on youtube.

Here are some lyrics that stood out to me:

I need a bitch, I need a slut
I need a bitch who like bananas in her butt
I need a bitch now more than ever
I need a bitch who gots a head that I can sever
I need my cherry pie

Baby I want you, baby I want my cherry pie
Baby I want you, baby I need my cherry pie
Baby I want you, baby gimme my cherry pie
Baby I want you, baby my cherry cherry pie

I found this part of the song particularly disturbing. I feel that it reinforces sexist and misogynist notions of women as disposable posessions who are ultimately reduced to their "cherry pies". Apparently, one's body should be made available upon request, and after it is used it should be disposed of (I presume by means of decapitation according to the lyrics). For the record, I'd just like to say that I am more than my vaginal opening, and my "cherry pie" belongs to me and no one else! This final statement is not intended as a puritan call for women to hold on to their sexualities. Rather, it is an attempt to resist the social acceptance of misogyny and to reclaim expressions of sexuality that are based on mutual respect for all parties involved.

- Alice

5 Myths About Sex

1. A woman cannot get pregnant when she's menstruating.
- Everyone's menstrual cycle is different and not completely stable. It is true that ovulation tends to occur before one's period; however, ovulation can periodically occur during or shortly after menstruation. Moreover, sperm can live in the vagina between 5 and 7 days.

The final verdict: pregnancy is extremely unlikely but always a possibility.

2. Withdrawal (pulling-out) is a safe method of contraception.
- This method is only about 19% effective, in comparison to using condoms which is about 99% effective. According to www.sexualityu.ca, pre-ejaculatory fluids from the penis can contain thousands of sperm. A friend of mine swears by this method because he hasn't gotten his long-term partner pregnant yet. But there could be other reasons why pregnancy has never occurred (ie: fertility, endometriosis, no sex during/near ovulation etc.)

The final verdict: Why take the risk when you could be covered up to 99% sans hormonal birth control? But if this has worked for you without any problems, power to you lol. Please not that this method also does not protect individuals against STIs & HIV.

3. Only people who sleep around get STIs or HIV.
- First of all, the assumption is that monogamous relationships are safe relationships. This is not true. There are people who are married for years and then suddenly contract HIV. I'm not saying that you shouldn't trust your partner, but that you shouldn't be under the impression that you are ever 100% safe.

- Secondly, I can't excuse the underlying value judgment inherent in this statement. I'm referring to the idea that "sleeping around" is somehow dangerous or bad (and skanky or slutty for women). Sometimes sex is just...well, sex. If you're uncomfortable having more than one sexual partner at a time then that's right for you, but that's not right for everyone.

The final verdict: if you have a sexual partner(s) you are always at risk of contracting something.

4. Hormonal birth control ensures the safety of your sex.
- Although these are very effect methods of contraception (anti-pregnancy), hormonal birth controls do not protect individuals from STIs & HIV.

The final verdict: protect yourself!!!

5. Oral sex isn't "Real" sex so I won't get an infection or disease.
- Firstly, there is yet another value judgment inherent in this statement. That "Real" sex is only that which occurs during heterosexual penis in vagina penetration. This devalues any sexual relationships which are not heterosexual, and any sex that falls outside this definition.

- Secondly, there are different risks for different sex methods and individuals. Here's an STD chart that we posted last month which outlines what to expect when engaging in sex. The risks involved in giving or receiving oral sex for women include herpes and possibly genital warts. This risks involved for giving or receiving for men include chlamydia, gonorrhea, hep a, herpes, genital warts, shigella, syphilis, hep b, hiv, and possibily hep c.

The final verdict: Sex is not limited to heterosexual intercourse. Masturbation, oral stimulation, anal sex, hand stimulation etc. etc. etc. are all sex! All sex (even masturbation if you have warts on your hands) can cause infection.

- Alice

Perspectives on Breast Self-Examination

I'm a strong advocate of breast self-examination. Here are some links which might be helpful to understand what BSE is, why it is recommended and how you can do it:
Breast Self Exam
and
Breast Self-Examination: A Handbook for Women with disAbilities

I was intrigued upon finding this article which argues that breast self-exams are not useful and in fact, may do more harm than good (i.e. in leading to unnecessary biopsies/treatment, psychological distress).
Do Breast Self-Exams Do Any Good?

It is an interesting perspective but I continue to stand by the idea that BSE is absolutely useful in the early detection of breast cancer/abnormalities, especially for women under 40 who do not undergo regular mammograms. Speaking from personal experience, I have gone to my doctor on two separate occasions regarding "lumps" I found through BSE. The first time I was sent to have an ultrasound which revealed two harmless cysts. The second time (currently) my doctor reassured me that the lentil-shaped lump I have discovered is likely a subcutaneous nodule (which is not attached to my breast tissue - a good thing) and most likely nothing to be concerned about.

Neither of my instances have involved benign tumors, mind you, and thus have not required biopsies. I think it's problematic to discourage women from forming the habit of BSE based on the possibility of unnecessary treatment or incorrect diagnoses. I would argue that BSE is an important way to understand one's body - its shape, its changes, its variations - in order to detect when something is not right. Early detection does make a difference.

- Vivian

Re: Parsley & Late Periods

I actually tried the parsley method a few months back. I read extensively and figured "why not?". At the point that I attempted it, I had started getting mild cramps and breast swelling (a sign of my period approaching) so I figured it might speed up the process. I didn't have cheesecloth so I simply picked a palm-full of fresh parsley from my herb garden, gave it a good wash and carefully bunched it into my vagina. I left it there for quite some time (several hours), and I repeated the process about 3 or 4 times, making sure to carefully remove every bit of parsley when I finished.

It didn't work at all. In fact my period came two weeks after this (I'm rarely late!)...maybe if I had tried this method past the time when my period was due it would have worked? I'm not sure if I'd try it again, but perhaps! One of my mother's friends swears by it, so maybe it was just a bad time for my body.

- Vivian

Depo Provera

At 16 I was paranoid as shit about pregnancy...so much so that condoms alone just didn't cut. So off I went to my family doctor to try to get some alternatives/options. The first one she gave me was Depo Provera and it seemed like a pretty sweet deal to my relatively uninformed 16 year old self. I mean, just one little needle every 3 months and that was that! My insurance covered it so each injection cost me less than $5. I must say, I felt a little sketched out when my doctor told me I'd probably stop getting my period but if no periods meant no babies I figured "Okay let's do this!!!". And I did. And dear god, I really wish she'd warned me about the side effects. Perhaps it was the fact that I was 16, but I simply was not aware that hormonal birth control = headaches, depression, total loss of sex drive and severe lethargy. Seriously, it was weird how much my entire system was affected. I had the shots a few more times after that, until I finally realized, DUH. The wonderous Depo Provera = why I've felt like I've spent the past half-year practically comatose. So I quit it and it was unbelievable how much better I felt about everything within just a few (3? 4?) months. I later found out that Depo Provera's side effects stretch far beyond what I experienced and may include things from hairloss to "abnormal skin spots" to bone mineral loss. Who wants that, really?

So, obviously Depo (and hormonal birth control in general) just wasn't for me. I suppose the moral of the story isn't so much "Stay away! It's evil!" but more so "Make sure you're well informed about everything to do with the BC of your choice. Ask questions! Use Google! Be prepared!".

- Vivian

3

One of the reasons we began WASH was to try to get people interested in talking/thinking about their bodies. Witnessing countless individuals' (from university students to people with children) sheer disbelief/amazement/outrage on numerous occasions upon finding out that women enjoy not one, not two, but three holes in their genital area was enough for us to try to start some sort of intervention. And this what we hope WASH will become - a way for people to engage in asking and answering questions, to discuss difficult topics, and to reach new levels of comfort and self-appreciation. For people to feel understood, and to understand others as well as themselves a little better...this is important! The precise number of "holes" a woman possesses can be (and evidently often is) written off as a petty technicality. But it isn't petty! For us, this little lacuna in the realm of what should be general knowledge created enough of a spark to push us to do something. Let's see where this goes!

So, for the record:
1) Urethra
2) Vagina
3) Anus
(Grab a mirror and take a look!)

- Vivian